I’m trying to do as much outdoor activity as possible this year and went skiing today for the first time in a while. I got the skis I use regularly from play again sport in like 2003 or something, so let’s just say, not the cream of the crop.
I tried a few pairs of demo skis today at the hill and the difference between all 4 of them was incredible. Turns out I hate any ski that can be described as “playful”. I think I never realized how different skis could be. I’ve always only used the rental ones or this pair that I have now.
In retrospect it should be self evident that different skis perform differently, but 2 skis made me feel in control vs the “ohh shit” that often happens with rental skis. I’m looking at the Deacon 80 and the Mantra 5. I’m going to go to another demo day next weekend to make a decision.
If you’re in the Ottawa area and want to go skiing, send me a line!
If you started following me for WordPress (or Basic income, mental health, polyamory, etc) content… I’m sorry. I will start posting more of that…. There’s just going to be noise along the way 😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that hurt you And you’d stay I don’t know why I did the things I did I don’t know why I said the things I said Love’s like a knife it can cut deep inside Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes I didn’t really mean to hurt you I didn’t want to see you go I know I made you cry, but baby
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that hurt you And you’d stay If I could reach the stars I’d give ’em all to you Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do If I could turn back time
My world was shattered I was torn apart Like someone took a knife and drove it Deep in my heart You walk out that door I swore that I didn’t care But I lost everything darling then and there Too strong to tell you I was sorry Too proud to tell you I was wrong I know that I was blind, and darling
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that hurt you And you’d stay If I could reach the stars I’d give ’em all to you Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do, oh
If I could turn back time (If I could turn back time) If I could turn back time (If I could turn back time) If I could turn back time, oh baby
I didn’t really mean to hurt you I didn’t want to see you go I know I made you cry
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that hurt you If I could reach the stars I’d give ’em all to you Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do
If I could turn back time (turn back time) If I could find a way (find a way) Then maybe maybe maybe you’d stay
I just set up a pseudo NAS with a Raspberry Pi 4 B and a random external hard drive we had lying around. I was really impressed with the Pi’s capabilities. Even when being used as a desktop it’s super snappy. The thing has 4 USB ports and 2 HDMI outs as well as Wifi 5 (AC) and a gigabit LAN (that maxes out around 300MBs).
I know how fast technology changes. Yet it’s so interesting to think back to 25 years ago when I had a Pentium 120Mhz with 16MB ram and a 1GB hard drive (That was huge!). I think I recall the tower costing something like 2500$ (over 4000 in current day dollars) in a big tower. And now this little thing has 250 times more RAM, 4 cores running at 1.5Ghz and with all the add-ons I bought with it was less than 100$.
At times it seems like things move slowly (Where’s my flying car?). And at other times I realize how crazy the next 25 years will be. (You know, if we don’t burn up the planet and all)
Maybe it’s a teen / young adult thing but I remember loving song lyrics. Back then it was MSN messenger days and you’d put song lyrics in your name or in your “personal message” or whatever thing. (For non-Canadians, MSN was more popular than AIM / ICQ in Canada back in the day [well, at least in rural Manitoba])
I always thought it was a bit like saying things without saying them. In that you could post some lyrics, and you’d have ascribed a deep meaning to them but just in case, you could just back out and say you just like the song or something if it turned out not to stick with others. Some form of low cost putting ideas out there.
I decided I was going to post more random stuff on my site. I think my go to when I’m not sure what to say will just be music videos. I’m wary of it being at times too sophomoric or emo, but sometimes songs and music videos express what’s on my mind.
Nicole has always wanted a lime green car. We’ve changed cars a few times and never were we able to get lime green. So for Christmas she asked for car wrap from family members (we don’t do gifts between ourselves).
Let’s just say, it’s a bit tricky to get going, but up to now, the results look promising. We’re not planning on doing the whole car, just some accents.
The world is getting fatter and it appears like one big culprit (I’m not saying it’s the only one) is artificial sugar and the products it enables with low nutrient to high calorie content. (research for: 1,2,3,4 research against: 1)
The interesting thing is how this came to be a global problem. High fructose corn syrup came out from a want in the 70s-80s in the US of lowering food costs. Since corn is such a great crop in terms of how many calories it can feed for the amount of room it takes, the US started subsidizing growing corn crops. (1,2)
Now the problem is that since the US subsidizes cheap corn. That corn gets exported, not just to Canada but around the world with the help of free trade agreements.
A really good takedown of how this all happens is explained by Hasan Minhaj here:
One thing that doesn’t seem to be mentioned is how US politics plays into this. Even the most left leaning candidates in the US presidency race won’t touch this topic. Why?
One reason is explained by Al Gore (1,2,3). Basically, Iowa is the first primary. Every electoral cycle, Iowa and New Hampshire are the first to vote and having a sense of momentum is very important in the primaries. The first votes determine if you are a “real” candidate or not. There have been attempts to change this, most recently in 2012 (1).
I don’t have any real evidence to support it, but I’ve always wondered if something so seemingly unrelated such as when each state in the US votes for their presidential candidate could have an impact of global obesity. Maybe one day someone with the resources to research this will look into it.
One thing I’ve realized is that if I want my goal to be to get in shape or to lose weight, I’ve done some good and bad incentives. And interestingly enough, the bad ones were the outcome based ones.
In almost all situations, proxy metrics become a problem. They are often abused and we tweak things for those metrics instead of the real outcome we want.
But with humans, especially myself, it seems the proxy metrics are easier to follow.
My current example is with weight management. At first I had a goal of staying within a target range until date X. That didn’t work. But what does work is rewarding myself for everyday that I stick to what will help me achieve my goal (in this case I’m rewarding myself every day that I don’t mindlessly eat after 8 pm).
It’s interesting how the focus on outcomes works so well in some contexts and so poorly in others.
With my recent post on anxiety many people have reached out and expressed support and, in a sense their concerns. While I really appreciate the support, I think people are used to folks talking publicly about mental health only when everything is on fire.
What people assume when you talk about mental health publicly
Part of the goal of that blog post was to really normalize that ya, things aren’t great and that’s why I’m doing something to make it better.
I think of it as I’m going to the physio. Ya, my shoulder is kinda sore. I’m not sure why, maybe I’m doing some exercises wrong or I can improve my form, or even more likely I need to work on my core strength.
My shoulder isn’t dislocated, it’s nor torn off or anything, but I’m still going to go see someone for help. I shouldn’t wait until I shoulder falls off before getting help for it and I see it as the same for mental health.
All that to say, I appreciate the concerns and the support, but you don’t have to be worried :). Rather let’s just all talk about when we need to go to the physio for our mental health.
(Seriously, I’m going to the physio for my shoulder… Not sure what I’m doing, but it’s not feeling great… I’d of made a blog post about it, but I don’t think people would be that interested)
I often talk about my struggles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a thing of the past. Something I struggled with, something I developed coping mechanisms and that I now just kinda pass as a normal person.
Recently it’s come back, I’m not sure what’s triggered it, perhaps the combination of a new job and a new relationship. Either way it’s interesting to be reminded how debilitating and kinda ridiculous it can get.
I think I’m still starting from a better spot since I’ve been able to keep things to a day and not spiral into multi-day or multi-week affairs. And even then, compared to some of my past events, these are not as acute.
It doesn’t change the fact that I had a day where I somehow changed my thoughts via a few hours of brooding and negative thought patterns on a topic I was earlier pretty convinced. It kind of threw people for a loop and while talking about it later, Nicole made me realize it was part of a pattern of recent events where I let my anxiety take over and make decisions that I feel help me become in control of the situation.
The work ones are interesting because, it doesn’t seem to have much in terms of evidence to support my anxiety. Everything seems to be going well, I haven’t had any negative feedback and, au contraire, I’ve had many positive feedback. Yet, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ll be exposed as a mediocre programmer.
I’m going to go see a counselor shortly, something I haven’t done in many years. Recently I just see my psychiatrist once a year since things have been pretty steady. I decided not to go see her first since I feel like this is something I can tackle by changing my thought patterns.
As they say (okay, maybe I’m the only one who says it), perception is everything.
I can’t even tell you if this is a real memory or not, but many years ago when I was somewhere around 18 I made some glib comment about “finding myself”. My aunt replied with a quote:
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
George Bernard Shaw
And yes, it’s a bit cliché and something your neighbor would have on a coffee cup or something, but, like most quotes, I think it hides a deep truth.
A short article in the Guardian, “Are you really yourself” reminded me of the lesson. Life is not about digging under some veeneer or removing layers of vinyl flooring until you find the original hardwood. It’s about accepting that our inner narative may be limiting us.
In the past I’ve often shied away from my rural past. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t like all the other rural folks who drove ski-doos and went hunting. I was a computer nerd. There was no place for both or for something else. I was in essence playing an archetype.
Perhaps the challenge in changing our minds about who we really are is not to rationally persuade ourselves into a new story about who we are, but to learn to live for periods of our life without one.
