A snowflake distinct among snowflakes

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see

And now after some thinking, I’d say I’d rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

But I don’t, I don’t know what that will be
I’ll get back to you someday soon you will see

What’s my name, what’s my station? Oh, just tell me what I should do
I don’t need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you

Or bow down and be grateful and say, “Sure, take all that you see”
To the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me

And I don’t, I don’t know who to believe
I’ll get back to you someday soon you will see
If I know only one thing, it’s that everything that I see
Of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak

Yeah I’m tongue-tied and dizzy and I can’t keep it to myself
What good is it to sing helplessness blues, why should I wait for anyone else?And I know, I know you will keep me on the shelf
I’ll come back to you someday soon myself

If I had an orchard, I’d work ’til I’m raw
If I had an orchard, I’d work ’til I’m sore
And you would wait tables and soon run the store

Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn
If I had an orchard, I’d work ’til I’m sore
If I had an orchard, I’d work ’til I’m sore
Someday I’ll be like the man on the screen

Killing in the name of

This last month I’ve been listening to Killing in the name of regularly.

While I had an understanding from the lyrics that it was an anthem against white supremacy, I didn’t know it’s full history. It’s sad how 28 years after it’s release, it’s still relevant.

For non-Black Canadian folks, here’s a list of ressources that I found useful (with thanks for my coworkers).

Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses
Huh!

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of!

And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya

Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites

Some of those that hold office are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that hold office are the same that burn crosses
Some of those up in congress are the same that burn crosses
Some of those up in congress are the same that burn crosses
Uggh!

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of

And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control
(Control!)
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
Come on!

Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me
Motherfucker!

Dormir Dehors

Une chansons que j’aimais vraiment quand j’étais jeune c’était Dormir Dehors par Daran et les chaises. C’était un des genre 12 CD que on avais a la radio étudiante a l’école et presque chaque fois que j’étais le “DJ” je la jouait.

Je suis pas sur a 100% ce qui m’attirais à la chanson a se temps la. Mais j’ai toujours aimer la chanson. je l’ai retrouver cla une coupe d’année et je pense que je l’apprécie encore plus. Et maintenant je comprends ce que y veut dire quand y mentionne “cuisine équipées”. C’est pu juste une random ligne qui fait pas de sense.

More Songs, Love & Heartbreak

Seriously, the live version of this gives me chills.
I want Bono to sing to me like that
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
What am I supposed to do
Sit around and wait for you
Well I can’t do that
And there’s no turning back
I need time to move on
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how
Okay, maybe it doesn’t fit with all the others but man, Beyoncé is awesome, right?

Emo Songs

I think I was very emo in my teens / early 20s. I don’t recall that being a term at the time. But then again, vocabulary was never my (or rural Manitoba’s) strong suit. Regardless, I find some songs and music bring me back to that time. Not necessarily in a “I’m back in depression when I hear these songs” kinda way (although that has been the case in the past and I’m sure if I listen to too much of them it would happen). But rather in a I appreciate my past kind of way.

After posting a few of them I almost feel like they could each have context attached to them…. Maybe one day I’ll repost them one at a time and give a short explanation (Yes, there’s a lot of Radiohead).

Meta Blogging Thoughts, Memory and Song Lyrics

One thing I struggle with these blog posts is that I have a tendency to ramble on. The post on memory really could of gone in multiple direction. What got me thinking on the topic is actually that I couldn’t find the song with the lyrics I had in my head which were “And I wonder if you think of me too”

I’m figured out that the beat I had in my mind was from:

I think the part I was humming was “I don’t know if you feel the same as I do”. Really there are many parts in the song that are very close and it would easily fit in with the rest of the song.

Regardless, while writing the post on memory I was like… no one gives a shit about me humming the wrong lyrics. I should write something (put on monocle) erudite (a word for smart you’d in academia).

So then I was like, I can link it to the hypocrisy post. Or wait! I can link it about how we create our past selves and we fabricate a past that will justify our actions and somehow slide in that everyone needs to watch Memento. Seriously though, if you haven’t seen it, it’s my favourite movie of all time.

I think part of the problem causing this is that I somehow feel an obligation to have good content here. But I’m not exactly sure why…. For my 30 followers? For the 12 people who read the posts? It’s not like I’m trying to become an influencer or build my mailing list or something. It’s just legit random thoughts…. And yet…

If I could turn back time

If you started following me for WordPress (or Basic income, mental health, polyamory, etc) content… I’m sorry. I will start posting more of that…. There’s just going to be noise along the way 😉

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you
And you’d stay
I don’t know why I did the things I did
I don’t know why I said the things I said
Love’s like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t want to see you go
I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you
And you’d stay
If I could reach the stars
I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do
If I could turn back time

My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it
Deep in my heart
You walk out that door I swore that I didn’t care
But I lost everything darling then and there
Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and darling

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you
And you’d stay
If I could reach the stars
I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do, oh

If I could turn back time (If I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time (If I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time, oh baby

I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t want to see you go
I know I made you cry

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you
If I could reach the stars
I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me, like you used to do

If I could turn back time (turn back time)
If I could find a way (find a way)
Then maybe maybe maybe you’d stay