I did an AMA and it was interesting because since I’m remote and we don’t use zoom, it was hard to see people’s facial reactions. I’m “candid” and at times contrarian and I’m not sure how things are received. It’s interesting because I have this balance where I really want to be open, candid and vulnerable and know that’s what helps organizations thrive. Even if it involves disagreements. Maybe it’s the anxiety (although I think this is probably a “normal” amount of anxiety given the circumstances), but I always really wonder what people really think.

Anyway, during the AMA there was a question asking what I would improve on. I mentioned a few things but I think I missed an opportunity to ask what I can improve on. So I’m asking you, what can I improve on?

For the record I think I mentioned:
1) Improve how I give feedback and how I share my thoughts. It sometimes comes across as rude or like I’m putting others down.
2) Better at time management (I’m terrible at forgetting I have a meeting, getting lost in time)
3) Better at focusing on the next actionable thing. Sometimes I get paralyzed by all the work in front of me and have a hard time starting somewhere.

But I feel like it’s really hard to know what you need to improve on. At Automattic there was a really strong culture of feedback and folks would regularly give each-other feedback (anonymous and direct). That’s something I feel like the Canadian Digital Service doesn’t have (yet!).

So, if you’re reading this, no matter if you’re a friend, acquaintance, former colleague, random person following me on twitter, please help me improve by filling out this form: https://forms.gle/p1BdbYFDbCUo4Qqs6

I’m trying to do as much outdoor activity as possible this year and went skiing today for the first time in a while. I got the skis I use regularly from play again sport in like 2003 or something, so let’s just say, not the cream of the crop.

I tried a few pairs of demo skis today at the hill and the difference between all 4 of them was incredible. Turns out I hate any ski that can be described as “playful”. I think I never realized how different skis could be. I’ve always only used the rental ones or this pair that I have now.

In retrospect it should be self evident that different skis perform differently, but 2 skis made me feel in control vs the “ohh shit” that often happens with rental skis. I’m looking at the Deacon 80 and the Mantra 5. I’m going to go to another demo day next weekend to make a decision.

If you’re in the Ottawa area and want to go skiing, send me a line!

Nicole has always wanted a lime green car. We’ve changed cars a few times and never were we able to get lime green. So for Christmas she asked for car wrap from family members (we don’t do gifts between ourselves).

Let’s just say, it’s a bit tricky to get going, but up to now, the results look promising. We’re not planning on doing the whole car, just some accents.

The world is getting fatter and it appears like one big culprit (I’m not saying it’s the only one) is artificial sugar and the products it enables with low nutrient to high calorie content. (research for: 1,2,3,4 research against: 1)

The interesting thing is how this came to be a global problem. High fructose corn syrup came out from a want in the 70s-80s in the US of lowering food costs. Since corn is such a great crop in terms of how many calories it can feed for the amount of room it takes, the US started subsidizing growing corn crops. (1,2)

Now the problem is that since the US subsidizes cheap corn. That corn gets exported, not just to Canada but around the world with the help of free trade agreements.

A really good takedown of how this all happens is explained by Hasan Minhaj here:

One thing that doesn’t seem to be mentioned is how US politics plays into this. Even the most left leaning candidates in the US presidency race won’t touch this topic. Why?

One reason is explained by Al Gore (1,2,3). Basically, Iowa is the first primary. Every electoral cycle, Iowa and New Hampshire are the first to vote and having a sense of momentum is very important in the primaries. The first votes determine if you are a “real” candidate or not. There have been attempts to change this, most recently in 2012 (1).

I don’t have any real evidence to support it, but I’ve always wondered if something so seemingly unrelated such as when each state in the US votes for their presidential candidate could have an impact of global obesity. Maybe one day someone with the resources to research this will look into it.

I can’t even tell you if this is a real memory or not, but many years ago when I was somewhere around 18 I made some glib comment about “finding myself”. My aunt replied with a quote:

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

And yes, it’s a bit cliché and something your neighbor would have on a coffee cup or something, but, like most quotes, I think it hides a deep truth.

A short article in the Guardian, “Are you really yourself” reminded me of the lesson. Life is not about digging under some veeneer or removing layers of vinyl flooring until you find the original hardwood. It’s about accepting that our inner narative may be limiting us.

In the past I’ve often shied away from my rural past. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t like all the other rural folks who drove ski-doos and went hunting. I was a computer nerd. There was no place for both or for something else. I was in essence playing an archetype.

Perhaps the challenge in changing our minds about who we really are is not to rationally persuade ourselves into a new story about who we are, but to learn to live for periods of our life without one.

“Are you really yourself“- Guardian

What preconceived notions about myself do I have left to ignore?
What about you? What are the ones you ignored and grew from? How did they happen?

I had a message a while back that read:

“Hey, so I read your last blog post. And to be honest, I drafted 3 different comments on 3 different posts on your blog, but lost my nerve before hitting submit on any of them. I really enjoy reading your blog, since it’s real and honest, but commenting is intimidating. I don’t want to be *that* person that comments with a tangentially related personal experience on all your posts. But I really appreciate that you write outloud, putting yourself out there for us to see a real, live human being living a real, human life.
Anyway, I didn’t post that as a comment, since it’s rambly and self indulgent.”

And I found it super interesting since I often have no idea who actually reads this and if there is any value to it.
I do have a few folks who reach out privately on various topics and give feedback, some of them pretty regularly (which I greatly appreciate) but it’s often a bit of a mystery. I know that shouldn’t really matter but it’s still something I always find interesting. Why is it that we always seek that external validation? Is it simply the dopamine hit we get when we interact with other humans? Is the only purpose to help mammal bonding?

And if it is “just” that, do we need to do anything about it?